NO, YOU ACTUALLY GIVE A DAMN ABOUT IT

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You know how sometimes we like to pretend that stuff doesn’t get to us?

No, I’m not talking about getting a rejection email or not being promoted like everyone else. I’m not even talking about not being noticed by somebody you like. Well, this last one hurts. Sorry if that’s you.

I’m talking about having issues in your personal relationships.

Wait, did you just say “here, we go again?”. Heck, yes! Here we go again.

I’m writing this for two reasons.

Firstly, I’m feeling bad (you can guess why but I’ll tell you. Meanwhile, if you don’t know why YOU are feeling bad, check out one of my posts titled Why you feel bad all the time). So, I’m feeling bad because I’m having little issues with a family member.

Secondly, I’m writing to help you if you’re at this point or for when you get to this point (because you will get here some time. Nope, it’s not a curse. You’re a human sharing earth with other humans).

A friend will often tell me,” Stop talking to the public about your problems because they don’t care”. I know. But I, ME, I care. I care that you’ll get to where I am or have already been through it without knowing what I know. Or maybe you’ve forgotten.

Back to the original point.

You care! I know you care that you’re having problems in your personal relationships. Now, any relationship can become as personal as we let it so let me specify. You care when you have issues with family. I mean family family. You know, blood family? Okay, mum, dad, brother, sister kinda family.

So, maybe it’s their fault. Maybe you didn’t do anything wrong. Maybe they’ve said some very hurtful things to you. really hurtful. Now, you’re not exactly on talking terms and you think you don’t give two cents about it, right? Stop lying joor. You actually care.

I know because you think about it and feel bad.

You wonder what you could have done or said to avoid the situation

You wish and hope they’re hurting too because that would mean that they care too and it means you care too. get it?

Am I right or wrong?

I want you to do something right now. Take a deep breath and close your eyes. Open them and admit to yourself that you care and you don’t like it.

That’s how to solve problems. identification.

If you’re wondering why I’m here giving you advice instead of solving my own problems, chill out a bit. I’m working on my own issues. At least, I’m bold enough to admit that I care that somebody is giving me attitude and I don’t want things to remain like that.

Have I told you that having a great relationship with your family helps you face the society? Charity begins at home baby, but it doesn’t end there. So, in other words… Wait.. I’m getting confused.

Aha! (Forget that charity adage.) What I want to say is that you’re better equipped to face other people and relate well with them if things are good at home.

So, you’ve admitted it? Good. You’re brave. It doesn’t make you a weak person. No. you’re strong enough to admit that you’re uncomfortable with conflict.

What do you do about it? Know what? I’ll write about this only after I’ve taken the steps I’d want to give you. I’m going to fix the issue I have with my family member and then I’ll come back and tell you how it went and what to do. But if you can’t wait and would want to know what to do, send me an email or a DM or something.

Here’s my id on Instagram: @ada_thelmaa. Double A at the end.

Is there something you’d like to say about family issues or personal relationship issues? Let me know in the comment section. Honestly, I’d love to hear from you.

Please share so others can benefit. Trust me many people are in this boat. Muaahh!

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YOU SHOULD COMPLAIN MORE OFTEN

          

         

          Okay, firstly, forget everything you’ve heard about positive energy. Just… just keep it in your drawer till you’re done reading this.

          You have the right to disagree with every thought/opinion expressed here. You also have the right to agree completely and share your beliefs. 

          Complaining is not evil. It can be annoying and unnecessary sometimes especially when you have consciously decided to do nothing about it.

           When you keep quiet about things that are not right or do not seem right, you destroy the chance for change to happen. A lot of things have changed in history because someone “complained” about them. Throughout the different ages, systems have been challenged and actions have been taken to change those concerns because someone complained.

          You know how you would rant about how you need to get new shoes or how hungry you are? What happens afterward? You get those things! It doesn’t matter how long it takes, it definitely comes to you.

          If nobody challenged the killing of twins in Nigeria, we wouldn’t have any today in the country simply because nobody would want to be seen as being discontent. We should be discontented with the ills in the society.

          The only problem now is that to many, anything is worth complaining about, the good ones inclusive. Some persons complain so that a vice can be accepted as the new normal.

For example, someone has actually “complained” that since such a community as the LGBTQ+ community exists, pedophiles should be included. What rubbish! That now is classical madness!

          It could be said that every complain is someone’s opinion on how things are and ought to be, true. But there are truths that are not subject to beliefs and varying opinions. Some truths are objective. You mustn’t agree but it remains the truth.

          Wonder why i call it complaining? Well, because, to complain means to speak up about a distasteful situation. You wouldn’t complain about something good unless you’re losing your sanity or the situation does not conform to your idea of good.

          There are various ways complaints are laid. These days, society prides itself on inventing different ways to rant, riot, protest, speak up about whatever it terms a distasteful situation.

          A quick look at the movies we have these days would reveal a lot being complained about. Even in the books we read!

          People speak up by changing the status quo in their little sphere of influence. We also have people who talk, who teach at conferences and seminars. We have writers who create stories around the problems they see. We have movie producers and scriptwriters who bring the problem to the screen. We have those who talk on social media. We have the musicians too.

          You should complain often. You should speak up often. Nothing was ever changed by keeping it quiet

          Newton’s 2^nd law of motion clearly applies here. A body at rest will remain at rest and a body in motion will remain in motion except an external force is imposed on it.

          What are you waiting for? Launch that campaign! Speak up now, you might be the one to herald the dawn of a new era.

What are you going to start complaining about? for me, it's dysfunctional family system/bad parenting. tell me yours in the comment section.

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