Diary of a lazy writer 3

Dear diary,
I looked and I saw that truth hurts.

I have so much to say all at once.  I'm so overwhelmed even as I write this.
Diary,  there are so many things that are important in life.  Someone might opine that everything is important to different persons.  Let me just rant.

So I didn't go to school today because I went to pay my tuition fee.  I ended up talking to a certain wise man.  He shot arrows of truth at me.  I was furious at first because I felt like he was condemning me, judging me.  At intervals,  the mini-me inside would concur with what he said. At some points,  mini me ran around the labyrinth of my heart,  my brain,  searching for excuses and people to blame for the misfortune I'm in.  You see,  some times,  many times,  people do not condemn or judge us,  it's the knowledge, awareness that they speak the truth that makes us condemn ourselves.  We then turn around again and want to blame the person for judging us.
Man is easily steered to irresponsibility.

I feel bad right now.  I feel bad lots of times.  I'm not a sad person.  I just...  Have a lot of shortcomings and it's not easy facing them and taking responsibility.
Brian Tracy in his book,  No Excuses,  said that the first step to becoming disciplined is to take responsibility for everything we do.
Well,  that's what I'm doing.
Usually,  I wouldn't write these things here but who knows,  maybe redemption has other people to visit and perhaps,  these words will lead the way.

I feel really bad.

I can't even begin to trace the origin of my carelessness.  But here are some things,  areas I messed up in.
¤ Association.  You are who you hang out with.  I got careless here.  Not like I started hanging out with the ones we would call riff-raffs,  no.  But I guess I started hanging out with people who had gotten too careless too.
¤ Information : because I write,  I exposed my mind to really dangerous stuff.  Not porn,  no.  But there are worse things than porn.  For me,  anything  that can destabilize the mind,  that can shake our convictions is dangerous.  I let in too much.
Here's a lesson.  Knowledge is good but you should only know so much.  Take in what you can process at your level.  Again,  censor the kind of knowledge you take in.  All things are lawful but not all things are expedient.  Say word!
¤Discipline: I probably shouldn't list this separately but the reason I started this diary in the first place-with its captionis because I became undisciplined.  I actually became lazy.

As an aside,  a part of me is thinking of how this post might draw traffic but truth is that I don't care!  I'm hurt.

I'll talk more about this later.  Let me start salvaging what I can.  I've got to gather with brethren.

Yours in pain,
Me.

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